Don't forget to thank your sysadmin on the way out the door

I haven't posted anything geeky in a while so ...

Twitter Ho-down - Third time's the charm.

OMGoogle! I can't believe it's time again already! Time for another Twitter Ho-down! Got yer tweets ready? Then stick 'em on your blog, put a link back to here and sign up below. Could it be any easier? Okay, maybe it could be easier. Just humor me. Now get to it!

Heavenly Bacon (Just Watch the Video, and the Title Will Make Sense)

Okay friends. First of all, the disclaimer. I am Catholic. I am a very conservative Catholic. I am also Hungarian. As a Hungarian Catholic, it is well within my personality to go ballistic if I think someone is insulting my faith, or my Numero Uno Pastor, Pope Benedict XVI.

Still, I thought this was hysterically funny. If you don't, please forgive me. If you do, then YAyyyy us! I also stole this from Ironic Catholic, who is a Catholic theology teacher in Minnesota (sharing the blame, or credit, depending on how you feel about video).

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Pope Wrist Watch
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Tasers

Pope Benedict XVI, my Numero Uno Pastor, is 82 years old. That means that healing is difficult for him. Meanwhile, wrist injuries are difficult for anyone to heal from. Could I trouble you to pray that my Numero Uno Pastor's wrist heals well? Thanks.

Are We the Only Ones?

For some reason my husband and I get a kick out of this commercial. Might be the kid that looks 26 years old (even though I found him on IMDB and he's much younger...poor guy.) Might be his wig like hair. No...I think it's just the cheese! I hope none of you have any connections with ad writers at Olive Garden...but they are so cheesy that it puts their pasta to shame.

Boundin

I saw this on another blog, and I thought it would be cute for the kiddies...

Can't keep a good man down.

Apparently if you grew up in Australia in the 1980's, you could not avoid seeing this advertisement. It was run by the Christian Television Alliance, but I am not clear if they are advertising CTA, or Jesus.

Be warned, the chorus is catchy.

So what do you think? Is this poor taste, or just really cheesy?

Mullet with Headlights

OK, so the second I heard, "mullet with headlights" I decided two things. First and most obviously I thought that was something I needed to start saying on a regular basis. Seriously, when is that not appropriate? I could use it during a sermon based on Sampson, or when talking about my visit to Eureka. I think it might be the best way to start describing the new "crossover" SUVs^*. "Yeah they are kinda like a mullet with headlights." I don't see that ever getting old.

The second thing I thought was that this video must be posted on FOTTSP. So here it is.



^*A Crossover SUV is basically a new way to describe a station wagon. Station wagons are uncool but SUVs are cool, so a car that is "combined" with a SUV would look exactly like a station wagon from days past, but is instead called a Crossover SUV. I hope you can see how that is pretty much a mullet with headlights.

Twitter Ho-down Part Deux

Remember all the fun we had at the last Twitter Ho-down? It seems like only last week that we were laughing and remembering good times on Twitter...

Yes, it's that time again! Time to go through your Twitter posts and blog about the best, the worst and the bathroom breaks in between. Just make sure to put a link in your post back to this here carnival. You want to share the love, don't you? And don't forget to sign up with Mr. Linky below. He gets so cranky when he's left out. Make sure you link directly to your Twitter post, huh? That way we don't have to go hunting around for it. Some of us like things easy. I think that's all I've got. Besides, I need to get back to Twitter. Someone's gotta keep 'em in business.

Hey, Hey, We're the Monks...?

I just love the muppets, and nothing, I mean nothing, will ever change that.
What? You need proof?

The hunt for the elusive Tom

Katdish mentioned yesterday via twitter that she was working on a post for Tom, but then refuses to say who Tom is. Last night many of the FOTTSP contributors tried to get her to spill the beans but no luck. At this point we think Tom may be one of many famous Tom's, but the most likely are:



Tom Marvolo Riddle. This is the young boy that grows up to become Lord Voldemorte, the worst dark wizard in history. Certainly Katdish would not want to admit to writing for his blog. Also she did make quite the Riddle of this Tom character, so it makes sense.

Weightwhat also posited that it might be another famous Tom:

Yes 10 second Tom also makes great sense. He is the only person that has a shorter attention span than our dear ADD katdish.

Of course, Helen seems to think that Tom is code for God. Other than having the same number of letters this makes little sense to me. Mostly because katdish loves to name drop and if she was writing a post for God she would totally say something about that. Even if she was sworn to secrecy she would find something more obvious like "I'm writing a post for 'not stan'." See how that works.

Sow hat do you think? Who is the secret life of Tom? Why won't katdish tell us? Why is she ignoring me?

I Usually Go With John 14:1, But Whatever Works For You...

Joanna's Crazy Christian Clips strike me once again in their hilarity.

My favorite line : "You ain't gonna see that verse cross stitched on a pillow. Unless it's a special pillow, I guess..."

It's a Twitter Ho-down!

You've waited. You've longed for it. And now it's here... No, not the latest Harry Potter movie. Although I must say that it was fabulous... It's the first ever Twitter Ho-down Blog Carnival! Now we all have a chance to be just like @katdish and have ridiculously long posts in which we glory in the Twitter Ho-ness that is us. It's good to be us!

So get that Twitter post done on your blog and link it up below on our new friend Mr. Linky. Don't worry, he doesn't bite. Just put your name/blog name in the first box and the direct link to your post in the second box. I know you can do it. I have faith in you. And if you missed the post rules that are really more like guidelines, you can see them here. Now hop to it! The world needs to know of our brilliance!

Monkey Butt Update!

I feel like I need a red carpet and an entourage now. I'm almost famous. Check out this email I got yesterday from my good friend and former college roommate. You know she's super cool because she was the one who introduced me to SCL....


Howdy! Saw the "Anti Monkey Butt" logo prominently displayed on your
"group blog." Thought I'd let you know that YOU are the winner of the
"Six Degrees of Anti Monkey Butt Separation" award for the day! Anti
Monkey Butt is one of the products that my brother-in-law, Les, deals with and sells to other vendors (like Target...Rite-Aid...other stores). The company he works for now basically represents products from a bunch of small companies and tries to market and sell them to big stores. So, Les actually knows the Anti Monkey Butt inventors and has presented at trade shows with the
actual Anti Monkey Butt mascot, Richard the Chimp. :-) So, there you
have it! Your college roommate's brother-in-law is "in" with the Anti
Monkey Butt guys.


I really want my picture taken with Richard the Chimp now. Check him out in the commercial on their website! Also, ladies, there's an anti monkey butt powder just for you now! Awesome!

Dear Robots...

Dear Blogger Robots:

We consider our postings to have more in common with baloney than spam.
Thank you for your kind consideration.

Helen



****Any fottsp contributors who agree with the above message should feel free to sign the letter...

you to birthday happy

In my Youth we have a tradition of singing Happy Birthday backwards. I mean just the words in reverse order not saying them backwards. That's devil stuff there. I started the tradition in one of my more whimsical (2nd time I've said that today) moments.

Anyways, it is Candy's birthday so everyone pick a tune and join in

You to birthday happy
Candy dear birthday happy
You to birthday happy
You to birthday happy.

I don't pray enough

I Don't pray enough.

It really bothers me.

I just wished it bothered me enough to do something about it.

It bothers me that I don't.

The carnival is coming to town!

Okay folks, the first ever Twitter Ho blog carnival is coming to FOTTSP this Friday! I know, I know. You're totally excited. But keep your smarty pants on. Joining in will be relatively painless. Just do a post on your blog about your amazingly awesome tweeting, then link it back here. I'll have a Mister Linky thing set up so it'll be easy peasy lemon squeezy!

What should you include in your post? Hey, we're easy. But not in a skanky ho kind of way. You could do a post a la Katdish and do a week in review of what you've tweeted. You could post tweets on a certain topic. You could post the tweets that @Helenatrandom sent you. Whatever works for you.

So c'mon back on Friday, Twitter Ho's. Everyone should be aware of our awesomeness!

Oh, and does anyone have any good name ideas for our fabulous carnival? Taking ideas in the comments section...

I Always Knew I'd Be a Good Detective! Thanks, Nancy Drew!

Okay. So I worked up the courage and called the number on the classified ad I posted about.

Here's the scoop...I called and all I had to do was ask where the cemetery was...

I got a very sweet elderly lady on the phone. Her husband and oldest son are buried in the cemetery. It's little country cemetery near one of the poorest little towns in our area. Evidently the church AND the cemetery were bought by a "crazy man" who intimidates the relatives who try to visit the people buried there and tells them to get off his property. She said one person she talked to said that he was carrying a gun. She's trying to get enough people together to have a meeting and go to the commissioner and see if the county will investigate and take the property back and keep it up. I guess this guy doesn't do any mowing or upkeep around the graves. She was really upset. But at least she had already heard from some others who were upset, too. I wished her success and told her that if I ran across anyone from that town I would spread the word. She thanked me and said, "God bless you, Honey." I told her God bless back.

Now...who wants to hunt down a crazy man who scares little old ladies for no good reason? That just ain't right.

Funniest Classified Ad Award

I truly hate to bump the awesome that is David Crowder, but this was entirely too funny not to share. We always get a lovely publication called The Shopper on Mondays in our mailbox. Mostly, it's full of ads and classified ads. It almost never fails to crack me up because of the crazy stuff people are seeking/selling/auctions/etc. and it's a general nightmare of grammar and spelling mistakes. Plus you never know when you might find a good deal...

Anyway, this is the best one yet:

"Anyone who has loved ones buried in Little Flock Primitive Baptist Church Cemetary please call ***-***-****. We need to talk."

WHAT?!

So, who thinks I should call the number...

David Crowder is my new hero

Also, he might just be a twitter ho. @crowderband



Let the laughter commence.

Because this just never gets old...

I know, I know....

Most of you have already seen this video, but seriously...I think we need to be constantly reminded about the dangers of magnesium. (Especially Nick.)

Lo-carb Monster can't do this

Music is Good for the Brain

I found this segment of Jon Stewart very interesting.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Oliver Sacks
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Economic Crisis

So those last two posts were good for our brains. It's scientific.

In response to Nick's video...

...this is seriously cool!

I don't care who you are that's cool right there.

OK, so now that you've seen it time to start practicing. Since we all live in different places it will be hard to get the timing down but we do have two African residents so I think that will overcome our handicap nicely.

'Cause I'm a rocket, man.

The 4th of July is over, but I seem to have a bit of it stuck to the bottom of my shoe... Oh wait. No. It's just a rocketman. Silly William Shatner.

Happy 4th of July!

Hey, does Nick the Geek have a dog? Because if he did, it sure seems like this would be the one he'd have.

Who Knew Monkey Butts Offered So Much Protection

Thanks, Wendy, for figuring out how to get it here to be published. You are terrific. Which is why you truly, truly, truly belong on fottsp...Where all the contributers are terrific. And yes, I think I will speak for myself here...

Bon Voyage..

Peter, one of our many contributors here at FOTTSP, flew to England yesterday (and boy are his arms tired!). Let's hope that he didn't have these pilots....




Hope you are safe, and have fun, Peter. And please keep your safety belt fastened at all times.