Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Community is Hilarious

No one should listen to @PeterPollock about Community because... it is funny. For instance (First video is kind of long... but... HILARIOUS):

Unfortunately, no one is paying me to advertise this show. I'll keep yo updated on that though, but this show is seriously funny, and has a semi-message in it.

So, enjoy the fun!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Happy Birthday Steph!!!

Another year older, another year wiser. Well, another year older at least. I searched high and low for the perfect birthday gift for you, but then remembered you already had a Snuggie, so I got you this instead. You're welcome!

Now where did we leave that spanking machine?

It's National Sarcasm Day!

According to the great Google, today is National Sarcasm Day. Have you purchased gifts for the Snark in your life? No? Well here are some ideas:

So...who's buying what for whom today? And also? Sorry I didn't realize this day was coming. I would totally have encouraged each of you to register for gifts. My bad.

PS--If you're looking for gift ideas for me and Steph, here's something we might be interested in thanks to allergens and pollen.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Twitter Ho says what?


Okay, who's been tweeting this week? Well now's the time to share at the Twitter Ho-down! Sign up with Mr. Linky below. He's been waiting all week for this very moment...

Monday, September 21, 2009

Tell Maniacal Katdish a Joke

Okay, so here's the scoop. People were conversating (yes, I know that's not a real word) on twitter this morning and Katdish was manically laughing about something. Peter Pollock suggested I make a picture of her laughing maniacally.

Alas, I could not, but I'll do you one better. I combed the interwebs and found this rare footage of Katdish laughing, how else, I thought we could turn this into a little game.

Here's how it works.
  1. You tell Maniacal Katdish a joke in the comments
  2. Then hit the play button on the audio player.
  3. She thinks all your jokes are downright HI-larious. With me so far?
Okay, I'll go first.
Hey Maniacal Katdish! Did you hear the one about the woman who gets onto a bus with her baby?

The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and give him a piece of your mind. Go ahead... I'll hold your monkey for you."

Now, it's your turn! Make Maniacal Katdish laugh with your best joke. You will be the hit of the party (and even if you're not, Maniacal Katdish still thinks you're great).

Please don't ask me why Maniacal Katdish sounds as if she's been smoking for 50 years because I do not know the answer to such a question. You could ask Maniacal Katdish, but she's only going to laugh at you.

Since this may be the final post I ever get to do here before my blog privileges are revoked, I would just like to borrow a line from a friend-- I'm sorry/you're welcome.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Elegant Taste?

Okay fottsp members, I am not sure you are all aware of it, but Wendy sponsers a blog carnival every week called Life is Funny. Are you guys checking it out? Because I know there hasn't been much particpation from fottsp members on it. I thought maybe you all weren't aware of it, and that a Life is Funny post on fottsp would fix it. Besides. This blog has more followers than mine, so maybe even if fottspers know but choose not to participate, the fottsp followers may. Please?

So, the other day I almost purchased a Christmas craft magazine while in line at the grocery store. I know it is too early for Christmas, but my mom likes to do crafts. It's not a lifelong interest, just one she's had since being couped in. I decided not to buy the magazine however because I didn't have a chance to take a look and see if the crafts were doable for her.

Then today, Bob and I were at Borders, and I saw the magazine I was thinking of getting. I started thumbing through it, and was disappointed to find it was more about decorating than crafts. And if that weren't bad enough, I found out that I don't have elegant taste. Every single room featured in that magazine was elegant, and I hated it. If I had been in that room with the hostess, I'd have been polite enough to say...

"My. That IS elegant..."

I would not have mentioned that my taste isn't elegant. I thought it was. Until looking at that magazine, my idea of elegant Christmas decor was having small flashing multicolored lights instead of the large bulbs, and making sure baby Jesus was only lit up at night.... But it turns out that my idea of elegant is actually tacky. And you know what? I kinda feel sorry for people who prefer elegant..

Now, if any of my fellow fottspers prefer elegant Christmas decor to flashing multicolored lights, just let katdish know so that she can revoke your blog priveleges.....KIDDING! I'll love you anyway. And the worst thing I'll say about you is that you have elegant taste...

The blog carnival is called Life is Funny, not Life is Hysterical, so this post is funny enough. Trust me. I have been participating for months. Why don't you? She's obviously not particular....

This is what I call super elegant.

Welcome to Canada! (Bienvenu!)

I love this video!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Is that a Twitter Ho-down?! Oh, no. It's just the curtains.


It's time for another Twitter Ho-down folks! But before we get started, here's a little something you should see in case you missed it:

The story Marni didn’t blog about the other week for some strange reason

marni71 So a lady comes into my office today. As soon as she opens the door, she screams and runs back out... Then she slowly comes back in and says "I'm sorry, I'm just really afraid of taxidermy!" Now I'm thoroughly confused because there are no dead animals in my office. And I'm looking at her all WTFrak?! Then she looks over me head at what she thought was taxidermy and says "Oh, it's just your curtains!" Welcome to my life.

Now on to the carnival! Sign up below on Mr. Linky. And just so you know, Mr. Linky is afraid of taxidermy, too.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Why yes, I do have crap laying around.

Got too much crap layin' around your house? If you've got kids, the answer is 'yes'. But have I got the solution for you! No need to thank me.

Monday, September 14, 2009

What a Clown!

You wouldn't believe how many videos making fun of Ronald McDonald are on Youtube. I had no idea that he could inspire people to such creative depth.

Still, I didn't think any of it was funnier than his first commercial. I know, I know...I have changed over the years, too....But wow, has his fashion sense improved!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Nothing to see here


The Twitter Ho-down is taking a break this week. But stay tuned next week for more fun and frivolity. Now go away and let me do my business.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Cracks Me Up! I Can't Breath!

Saw this commercial tonight...and our poor blog is almost as neglected as my own...

So in case you need a laugh:

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Twitter Ho-down - The Return of Helen


Helen has her computer back and all is right in the Twitterverse again! Did everyone else suddenly have more tweets because of it? Or was it just me? Anyway, let the Twitter Ho-down begin! Blog your tweets then sign up below on Mr. Linky. By the way Helen, I think Mr. Linky was pining for you while you were gone, too.

I Had a Really Cool Title for This Post in My Head, But I Forgot What It Was, But Trust Me, It Was a Doozy!

And now, we interrupt this hilarity, for a serious post. Why not do a serious post on my own blog? Well, I could claim that it is to give Peter P. 's book giveaway and Be the Church blog challenge more exposure, since fottsp has more readers, or I could tell you the truth, that the friend I bring up reads my blog, and would see her flaws rather than mine, and she doesn't need that right now. So, we'll just go with the first reason.

The other day, a friend from college called to wish me an early Happy Birthday. It was great to hear from her. We don't talk as often as I'd like. Sometimes I call and get the machine. I always say "Hi, this is Helen, calling just to say "Hi!" ......HI!". Always. Even the day when I called because I found out I'd NEVER have a baby, and I needed HER ear.

Now, she often doesn't get back to me for weeks. I always assumed she was too busy for me and my small little life. I felt too proud to say "What the H-E-Double Hockey Stick took you so long to get back to me?" I also felt too proud to tell her why I called a month later. If she doesn't need me, then I don't need her!

Guess what. Long story short, I confided my problem to her recently, and yesterday told her of Bob and my plans for moving on. She has been struggling with the VERY SAME issue I have, except doesn't have the support system I do, and has been avoiding all calls for a long time because she is depressed. Depression is like that. It makes you shut people out when you need them. I thought I was depressed just because I wanted to die. Still, I wasn't so depressed that I didn't want to talk to anyone. But I did let pride get in my way. I did not let her in that day, and for years, not because I was too depressed to talk to her, but because I was too proud to confide in her if she didn't feel like calling me.

If I had told her, she may have felt less alone. Sure, I would have wept buckets on her shoulder, but perhaps that would have freed her to let me in. But I didn't, and she suffered alone. I have mom, Bob, and others whom I've leaned on, and I've known that I'm not alone. She didn't have that, because I was too busy playing nah, nah, nah nah, nah.

BTW, I am not feeling all down on myself for not being perfect. I see I could have been a better friend, but then, who can look back on forty years and find they have never behaved in such a way as they regret? I do want to turn this around so that I learn something though, and think that Peter P.'s blog challenge gives me the opportunity to share that.

That something is that to Be The Church, one needs to leave their pride behind them. I ought to have not read my own insecurities into her behavior. If I reacted with less pride, well, it may have been overwhelming for her, but at least she would have seen her own struggle playing out, and perhaps would have shared her own feelings and we could have leaned on each other a little.

I learned that Being The Church is as much letting people help you as being helped....

Peter, please don't give me the extra entries because of this post. I don't deserve it, because it is about how I have failed to Be The Church, not how I have succeeded. I'm not all bad. I've done some things right, too. I'll share that on my own blog early next week, and then you can give me the extra entries, okay?

Oh, and btw, you can check out Peter's blog challenge thingy at this website and have the opportunity to write on how you think we should Be the Church. I don't know if the extra points for wishing me a Happy Birthday has expired or not, though.

God bless you!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Not sure how much trouble I'm gonna get in but oh well it seems like it might be funny and Moses is bound to tick him off before anything bad happens.

Wow, now that's a long title. Did you know they limit how long your title can be? Yeah me neither. Anyways, I know God has a blog just posted but I'm gonna put this up too because it is funny and God appreciates funny.

Also, Moses made me do it ... yeah that's what I'm going with.

God's Blog Ultimate Audience Participation Awesome Essay Contest Spectacular!

Dear Smarty Pants,

Hello. Want to win a prize? More specifically, want to win a prize for talking about how awesome I am?

What am I even asking for? Of course you do. Which is why you are all going to head over to my blog and enter in the God's Blog Ultimate Audience Participation Awesome Essay Contest Spectacular!

I happen to have it on good authority (my own) that someone from this blog may or may not be crowned the champion. Just sayin'.



p.s. Moses sucks.