A New Hope

First it was the cats and the bears, with their evil ninja ways. Then they drafted the squirrels and the monkeys in to assist in their dastardly plans for world domination.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are outnumbered. We need allies in this impending battle, and I am sorry to say that most of the fishy folk I have been approaching just don't cut it. There hearts are in the right place, but when it comes to battle they are pretty spineless.

But fear not. I have sought far and wide, and have found us some allies we might be able to bring over onto our side. I bring you, from a galaxy far, far away...

Squirrel Terror Level raised to Yellow

I know we've had reason to worry that bears and cats are trying to take over the world.

But I now believe that squirrels have joined the alliance. They're currently working out and bulking up, in preparation for Navy SEAL-like attacks on the general populace.

My evidence?

I present to you...

NINJA SQUIRREL

A rare photo of the squirrels' training regimen: high-protein birdseed and windowscreen ab workouts.

I'm locking the doors and getting a BB gun.