Saturday, April 11, 2009

Recall Notice: Humanity is Defective! Please Attend to Promptly!

Although today is still a solemn day (Easter is tomorrow, hence it is still time for reflection), I found this joke for this weekend to be to true not to be shared during our time of reflection.




Recall Notice

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms include:
Loss of direction
Foul vocal emissions
Amnesia of origin
Lack of peace and joy
Selfish or violent behavior
Depression or confusion in the mental component
Fearfulness
Idolatry
Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B..L.E (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!
GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "knee-mail.'


Thank you to Happy Catholic, whom I have borrowed many jokes from.

5 comments:

Candace Jean July 16 said...

OK Helen, I'm totally stealing and posting and tweeting. Totally. OK with you? Ron Burgundy and I were in (most reverent)hysterics. Thank you! I so needed this today.

Helen said...

Go ahead. I stole it from Happy Catholic, myself. I love her weekend jokes. Plus, I always figure if I give her credit, I am not stealing, but sharing...

Nick the Geek said...

gee sounds like something I would have writen. Very good.

Richard said...

that borders on cheesy. but that's okay. i like cheese.

Wendy said...

That was a fun one, Helen! And now, just to make Katdish crazy, I'm adding a smiley face. :o)