Friday, February 27, 2009

Just Practicing

Pearls Before Swine

Thank you, Nick the Geek. Your advice worked.
I think he should be allowed out of timeout. What do you all say?

48 comments:

Candace Jean July 16 said...

I'm game, but we must fill the seat. The next person who goes into time out is whoever wears Lee press-on nails. Those are SO 70's. Or perhaps someone who's been a slacker and hasn't posted? Or even commented?

sherri said...

I've already taken care of the time out chair.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Open mouth, insert size 9 1/2. Thanks...a lot. But this chair is too short and my knees hit my chin.

Beth said...

Yeah, it's crowded on this chair. Candy, scoot over. I'm tempted to put someone in the chair who would fit quite nicely....

sherri said...

See what I mean? If I let you tall people continue commenting, your true VENOM starts spurting!

I will not NEED to name names!
We'll know you by your green oozing lips!

(and for the record, my ADORABLE size 6 1/2 looks very cute-even when it's stuffed in my mouth, which BTW, has been happening more often since I met a bunch a venomous towers online!)

Not a good influence- I may have to change what I gave up for lent to TALL PEOPLE!

♥ Kathy said...

GREAT JOB HELEN! =) and I loved the funny lol what a chick!

Helen said...

Kathy, thanks. I love jokes that play on semantics. Heck, I love comics. Now that I know where to get them and how to embed them, a monster has been created.
Sherri, don't give up tall people for Lent. Consider them your cross to bear.
Beth, tee hee
Candy, I think we can make an exception and allow you to sit on the floor, legs crossed.

What do you think Sherri? Or, am I supposed to go into time out, too, since I am hoping to grow two feet to become better proportioned?

sherri said...

Helen- you're not tall yet, so you're still safe.

And thanks for the ideas, I will consider tall people my "thorns in the flesh"!

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

Candy, Beth, scoot over already! Since "tall" for Sherri means over 5 feet, I'm here too. Y'all know this chair is gonna be REALLY crowded.

Sherri, that's why MOST tall people spout VENOM. When MOST people are taller than you, the statistics for venom are in our favor.

BTW, Her Pressonness is in the air right this very moment. So we won't get the benefit of her comments for a few hours now.

(Hey! Let's put HER in the chair right before she lands!)

Helen said...

Normally, I would be the first to defend her, since she can't defend herself right now. But since I think she would probably end up in the chair anyway for being tall, we may as well let her have the chair all to herself. I wouldn't want her to be all crowded in that bitsy chair after her flight. So, out of total Christian love of course, I say put her in all by herself!

Helen said...

I added a blinky button....dedicated to those in the time out chair.

Marni said...

I think Katdish should be in the chair for the press-on's. That's a crime against fashion.

And sweet that over 5 feet means tall. I'm 5'1" (I say 5'2" on my driver's license to mess with cops) so scooch over and let me in the chair. I feel so honored to be tall, you just don't know!

Beth said...

You know she's on the plane reading all the comments and thinking of the best comebacks ever...just saying...watch out!

katdish said...

Yeah. Watch out indeed.

The eagle has landed and is back in the official blogging uniform of fuzzy polka dot pajama pants and the green "Whose Your Daddy" t-shirt.

Rather than respond to all this outpouring of love from everyone in the comment section, I think my response is worthy of an actual blog post. (Not that post worthiness is a real issue on this blog - obviously.)

But alas, katdish is way overdue for a nap, as Steph rambled on incessantly about the season of her life when she was NOT a stripper well into the wee hours of the morning. This exhausted state is evident by the fact that she is referring to herself in the first person.

So for now, I will just say that I'm shutting it down so I can get a short nap before my adoring children bust thru the door and shower me with profound declarations of their love for me like, "I'm Hungry", and "Will you take me to the driving range?"

Also, I need to soak my man-hands in acetone.

Helen said...

"Not that post worthiness is a real issue on this blog - obviously"
Katdish, is that directed at all of us in general, or me for just posting a comic and a suggestion that NTG be forgiven? Hmmmmmm?

Nick the Geek said...

What the freak, I got skiing all day and come back to find out I've been allowed out of timeout only to get put back in just because I'm tall?

Candace Jean July 16 said...

That's what you get for taking a vacation. I don't think there's room in this chair for any more long legged snark. You may have to wait your turn. But fear not, I'm sure it will be soon.

sherri said...

Sorry Nick. It must SUCK being tall.

sherri said...

And Marni, I hate to break the bad news to you but I AM TALLLER THAN YOU!!!! By 1/2"!
Yep! I'm a towering 5'1 1/2 " tall!
(I also say 5'2" on my license, and I believe in rounding up on height (never weight).

I'm still too short to put myself in the time out chair though. It is for women 5'6 and taller, and men over 6 foot.

*We must keep their venomous comments under control.

katdish said...

Helen,

Nah, that comment was directed at all of us, myself included. I think the author of Hey Look a Chicken casting dispersions on whether or not something is "post worthy" would be the pot calling the kettle black. I was just being my sweet, obnoxious self.

And speaking of obnoxious, I mentioned something about me being as obnoxious in person as I am online to Jon and he said something to the effect of, "I don't think you're obnoxious, you're just from Texas." To which I'm thinking, "Um...thank you?" He was actually being nice, I just thought that was funny.

Helen said...

Maybe there is some sort of sports rivalry between Texas and his state that you didn't pick up on. I wouldn't know. The only sports I like to watch are wrestling, gymnastics, and figure skating. I can watch baseball without being too obnoxious, but I find it dull. Anyways, I think sometimes men think sports rivalries are common knowledge, so the make little jokes (very little) that we don't get.

katdish said...

I don't know about the sports analogy thing. I'm pretty sure there are lots of folks that think people from Texas are obnoxious in general. Any thoughts, Nick? Nick is orginally from Oklahoma - Slogan: "Oklahoma is OK", which just barely beat out the alternate slogan: "Oklahoma, Oklahoma. There. I said it twice".

I really have no clue how the "Texans are obnoxious theory" came from!

Helen said...

I didn't know that about Oklahoma. I thought their slogan was " OKLAHOMA, O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A, OKLAHOMA, O-K".
I guess we don't really experience many Texans here in Northern IL. (Sherri will have to tell about Southern IL, and Beth Indiana).

sherri said...

My view of Texans is tainted because I was a fan of the TV show "Dallas".
If their depiction of Texans were true, they would all be lying, cheating, swindlers! (well, except for the Matriarch, God rest her soul).

I've always linked linked Texans with Big Hair, strong accents and fake smiles ( I'm also a big "Miss Americaa" fan).

But katdish is none of those.

Obnoxious, yes, but what would she be without her obnoxiouness? It's why we love her!

It would be like me without my typos, Angelina without HUGE lips, Big Bird without his "biggness".

Somethings should just always stay the same.

sherri said...

Americaa=America
Obnoxiouness=obnoxiousness

Helen said...

I really never thought of Katdish as obnoxious. But then, she doesn't pick on my typos, or ask how my lawsuit with the city is going. You know, for making those sidewalks too close to my butt.
If we believed Dallas, we would think all Texans are rich, unless their name was Barnes, and that is only because they got cheated by a Ewing. I never really thought Texas was like the Soap Opera. Maybe that's because I have seen Chicago represented as Gangstaville so often, that I don't really trust the media's depiction of America.

katdish said...

I will choose not to chime in on Dallas, as there is quite a rivalry between Houston and Dallas, except to say that there are people in Dallas the would fit the stereotype, but that's true anywhere. But my biggest peeve is when people think that there is one type of Texan, sort of like Helen's comment about Chicago. Texas is huge. Some parts are hot and humid, some parts dry and desert like, cold and mountainous, or flat as a pancake, with all types of people.

I think Stacey would probably agree that characterizing a personality type based upon what state they're from is short sighted. Louisiana is a great example. There are lots of Cajuns from there, but not all Louisianans are Cajuns. Am I making sense, or am I just rambling on incessantly? I think I need some more coffee...

katdish said...

Oh. And another thing...

When I get comments on gmail, everyone's comments are separated by person. If I click on "Comment from Sherri" it only shows Sherri's comments, et al...

So reading only one person's comments makes no sense at all.

katdish said...

PS - Helen. That Oklahoma comment was hilarious. Just wait till Nick reads all this. Brace yourselves, it may not be pretty.

sherri said...

Helen-I don't really believe Texans are like the ones depicted in Dallas. And I know all Chicago residents are not tied to the maffia (but you know I have relatives there who are suspiciously linked to them-I'm serious!).But our state's record for Governors imprisioned or on their way ,is not helping others' view of our state. We'll just have to continue to represent Illinois well to balance it out.
Being from So. Illinois always lands me as the target for the redneck and hillbilly jokes.
I don't care. I know better.

Nick the Geek said...

I just want to say that Oklahoma is the only state with a world famous musical so that right there is a major bonus, plus OK has one of the most interesting histories in the union and while it is not nearly as big as Texas it has every geographical feature except for the gulf coast, which I usually call the septic coast because I usually visit closer to the Delta.

Oklahoma trumps Texas in almost very way despite being so much smaller. They are so much better that Texas' best and brightest leave for OK on a regular basis.

That said, Katdish I'll support your rivalry with Dallas. I have driven in many major metropolitan areas and Dallas is the worst. Also, DFW has always been the worst place to get a connection in. I always have to go from one end to the opposite end in like half an hour which is technically possible but only at a full sprint to the rail depot and a full sprint from the train to the correct gate, which has changed on me before resulting in running 4 gates down when the person at the gate told me about the change.

Beth said...

I always got my Texas stereotypes from King of the Hill: Trucks, steak, obsessive lawn care, propane, and neighbors from Laos.

:)

I always got/get my Louisiana stereotypes from my pastor. He said "crawfish boil" once and it sounded like "crawfish ball" and I imagined a bunch of people in formal wear eating crawfish and dancing.

:)

I enjoyed my one and only time in Oklahoma. We ate fried pickles.

:)

Helen, you know I heart Chicago. There's no way I can make fun.

:)

Sherri, where you live and where I live are pretty similar...I could make fun of the rural midwest ALLLLLLL day.

Helen said...

Beth, good catch with King of the Hill. I actually don't mind when people kid about Chicago, if I am convinced they are only kidding. ;-)

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

You "midwest rednecks" shut up. If people where Sherri and Beth live are rednecks, then what does that make people in rural Georgia? (If you're having trouble with this idea, let me remind you that I live not far from where the movie Deliverance was based and filmed.

Folks down here consider y'all "city folks."

sherri said...

Okay Steph. You got us beat!
Your neck is WAY redder!

Candace Jean July 16 said...

We have the "Field of Dreams" in our neck of the fields, err....woods. So there. Nothin' redneck about me in the least. Other than that truck, pink flamingo in my yard and oh yeah, my van down by the river.

This humble little post has officially "Made the Mark" with comments.

Nick the Geek said...

Steph, I just got back from a drive through West VA, I'm sorry but there is no way you can combat in the redneck competition if they are allowed to play, and quite frankly West VA doesn't come close to some of the things I saw in the Ozarks (the Arkansas side was the worst).

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Nick, you're a hard guy to find - except on here. I change my background with my hormone levels, so I'd pick a different background for 3 columns. I haven't decided what to do yet, and am spending less and less time stewing about it. So I'll holla if I need any magic keystrokes.

katdish said...

Beth - The "King of the Hill" stereotype is actually pretty accurate to some degree. And I've got to agree with Nick on the West Virginia thing. I'm originally from Virginia. He knows of what he speaks. (No offense, West Virginia!)

Nick the Geek said...

Candace Jean,
I'll get you the stuff you need to make your three columns. I'll even try and make it work with the background since most you might pick will look best using the standard blog width.

Katdish,
What part of VA?

Candace Jean July 16 said...

I'll probably pick a background form cutestblogsontheblock.com - the 3 column format. They're free and I'm cheap like that. Or do they call that frugal? Or perhaps redneck?

Nick the Geek said...

I'd go with frugal but that just because I'm cheap and it sounds better. I sent you an email with instructions on adding a third column let me know if you have any trouble.

katdish said...

Nick - born in Fredricksburg, lived in Richmond and still have family there. I love the way my uncle says "Steak House" (Steak How-oose!)

Nick the Geek said...

I know people in both of those places. Small world.

Beth said...

But who has been to exotic Sullivan, Indiana?? Anyone? Anyone???

Didn't think so.

I live on the main road of town. The stoplight's down so there's a stop sign attached to a big metal trash can in the middle of the intersection. My driveway is gravel. I have a big van in the yard full of stuff that needs to go the junkyard. I live across the street from the laundromat/pizza place. On one side is a used car lot that sold us a car that went up in flames the same day. On the other side is John's Deer Taxidermy. My husband has made a hobby of shooting stray dogs that get into our trash with the pellet gun....
Bring it on, Rednecks.

But I like living here anyway.

katdish said...

You forgot the van down by the river....

Hey Nick - Do you know anyone with the last name Dishman or Beale? Them's kin folks!

People think "katdish" is some clever blogger name. I've been called that all my life (among other things).

Helen said...

Yeah, until you explained it one day, I really thought you liked cats, and were being playful about a psuedonymn.

Nick the Geek said...

nope, just Jessica but she won't return my phone calls since she went all hardcore in 7th Heaven.