Tuesday, February 10, 2009

How Many Atheists Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb?

I know. You already know this joke. So, tell a better one in the comment section.

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.

As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in midair, a booming voice came down from the clouds, “I thought you didn’t believe in Me!”

“Come on God, give me a break!” the man pleaded. “Two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”

Nessie doesn't seem all that tough to me...but then, I am not an atheist...



And in answer to the title question....
2 to claim they are really agnostics, 6 to claim that agnostics are just cowardly atheists, 4 to point out that they had lightbulbs in their fundamntalist church back when they were growing up and see no reason to continue using tools of theism, 11 to bring up the Dawkins scale, 13 to propose alternative to the Dawkins scale, 6 to mention how Dawkins changed their life, 3 to ask what atheism has to do with changing a lightbulb, 7 to point out that Theists don't change lightbulbs either, and 1 to claim that even though a theist changed the lightbulb while we were arguing, he didn't have to be a theist to do that!

17 comments:

sherri said...

Helen, let me be the first to say, "You're messed up!"

In a good way ;)

I love you.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Are you talking a REAL light bulb or one of those pale curly-cue things? That would make a huge difference in my answer. It alters the numbers somewhat.

And for the record, Helen, I love you, too.

♥ Kathy said...

LOL

Nick the Geek said...

I was wondering who would trump the "pray for our friends in Australia" post. Way to throw atheism under the bus for the team.

katdish said...

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac that stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog? (okay, that's old, I know...)

Candy - Is that you, or is your daughter logging into your computer? Or maybe you're just way more random that I first suspected! I'm so proud! (sniff, sniff)

Helen said...

Was I supposed to wait longer to post? I didn't mean to be insensitive.
BTW, Nick, funny you should mention bus. It was the bus ads on my mind that got me thinking about atheist jokes. Or was that your point, and I totally missed it?

Nick the Geek said...

I rarely have a point.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

@katdish yeah, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree now, does it?

OK, everybody stop commenting or I'll lose my "Making Your Mark" award, which sounds suspiciously like God spelled backwards.

Helen said...

Actually, Nick had 18 comments for his "is it wrong" post and you only had 16 comments for the urinal picture, so by right, that award should be his, but if he isn't gonna say anything, neither will I.

Helen said...

Oh, looks like I just did...

Nick the Geek said...

hmmm somehow the post order changed. Sneaky.

Napoleon D. said...

Last week Japanese scientists ex-placed...placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Lochness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cord Godfried of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents. And all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.

katdish said...

Seriously, people. I gotta go paint. Stop having fun without me.

Beth said...

Hehehe...that movie makes me laugh as much as the cat picture.

katdish said...

Okay, one more thing then I really gotta go. Ya'll need to go check out The Wide World of Timbo today. It's awesome.

Nick the Geek said...

Helen I think this post deserves more comments than mine so ... um here's an extra and I don't really have anything funny to say but ... um yeah.

Nick the Geek said...

Almost there. I was thinking of an icon for myself but I thought it might be a bit over the top. I have a pic like this that I might put up with the caption "because we can." As a Youth Pastor my ability to decide if things are appropriate is somewhat (read extremely) stunted. I know my wife would shoot this down but she tells me a lot of really funny things are bad ideas.