Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Even God Strongly Dislikes Tuesdays

Dearest people,
I can't stand it anymore! I've heard enough of you crying out to me that I just can't hold back any longer, I have to say something. I know you all hate Tuesdays and I get that you wonder why I even made the stupid day. I know that I'm perfect, and you say that you believe so, but you still have your reservations every once in a while. Don't lie about it, I can read your minds. It isn't much different from cracking a fortune cookie open, only you're less profound than one of those itty-bitty morsels of goodness most of the time!

Regardless, I am perfect and don't do anything wrong. But... if I were to go back and do it all over again, I might skip Tuesday in the whole creation thing. I could do it now if I wanted, but I don't roll like that, so just know it isn't going to happen, no matter what I say tonight.

If I'm being honest, (why do I say that? It isn't like I can lie) I'd have to admit that I hate Tuesdays too. You see, they're just so difficult. They aren't like Mondays that go by fast because half of you are too busy nursing hangovers and the other half are playing catchup from Friday. They aren't encouraging like Wednesdays because the work week is half over. Thursdays are nice because Friday is tomorrow, and they're certainly not like Fridays because believe it or not, I party on Fridays more than you little humans do.

Tuesdays are hard even for Me because they go slower than Mondays, more than half of the week is waiting for Me and I have to listen to all of you complain about it. I can't wait to get to the weekend either because that's when I get to chill out on a throne of your praise even though half of you are still singing songs from 1992. You need to cut that out and get with the times, alright?

Either way, I'm debating on taking Tuesday out of Heaven. I have more flexibility here because everyone up in this joint gets to see Me and what I'm up to all the time and they don't freak out like you all do down there whenever I start something new.

That means that you've got something to look forward to.

BTW my people, Tuesday is almost over for this week.


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