Monday, August 17, 2009

"Jerk Pants for Cheap" and other keyword searches

I recently did a post on Hey look a Chicken about my favorite keyword searches that landed people on my blog. And as strange and disturbing as some of those searches were, I assumed they would not hold a candle to those that landed people on this blog. Oh, boy. When you're right you're right.

Let me just get this out of the way right up front (he-he "up front"). Of the 139 keyword searches that landed people on this blog, twenty-four of them contained the words "Annie K's boobs". Annie's boobs got more hits that "Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants". We're all so proud. For those of you who are here today in search of Annie's "frontsettes", go away! Shoo! Shoo! They'll be none of that here.

Ah....monkey butt references! Yes, there were many. Including, but not limited to:

monkey butt + pants
monkey butt on a woman
monkey pants tutorial
nick monkey
richard monkey butt
what is monkey butt?
anti monkey butt
anti monkey butt powder

And my personal favorite: pearls before swine monkey butt

And now for some randomly ridiculous keyword searches:

mullet with headlights wiki
"relieved herself" parking
"where the magic happens" squirrel
dog poop in wool rug
far away smarty for my dream
freaky rainbow room
geriatric dog won't urinate
harry potter and the oh look something shiny
have you seen this cat because it's awesome
hey cavalier polka lyrics
how do you say smarty pants in spanish?
jerk pants for cheap
low carb monster
marni sunglasses
my dog's a jerk
olive garden mullet kid in commercial
tweetstalk venn diagram twitter facebook narcissism (who googles THAT?)
what is the banana spell in the ooh something shiny!
what's a pirate's favorite restaurant?

So, there you have it. I've shown you ours, now you show us yours. What are your top keyword searches? As Steph and Gollum would say:

Give us the precious.

We wants it.


katdish said...

Okay, people. I wrote a post. Whew! I'm exhausted!

Wendy said...

Poor katdish. She's worn herself out so much that she'll have to have guest bloggers do her posts for the rest of the week...

PPBottle said...

It's just so ridiculously funny!

I'm off to google "tweetstalk venn diagram twitter facebook narcissism"

and then "what is the banana spell in the ooh something shiny!"

If I can stop laughing for a few seconds!

Anonymous said...

So funny and strange! I love the oooh something shiny one.

I'm still new but the strangest search I've had so far is 'diaper embarrassing moments' ewww... LOL

Annie K said...

People are searching for one thing when they land on my blog. Get a life people cause you'll be seeing 'none of THAT' on my blog.


Marni said...

Mine has been weird as of late. People who find me have Googled:

Peyton Manning (yeah, I like him and all. We named our daughter after him. I had that coming I suppose.)
Chronicles of Narnia
Marni fashion wear
Marni Nixon (the chick who sang Audrey Hepburns music in My Fair Lady)
President Nixon (WTFrak?)
Garden Design (yeah, no. You don't want me near your garden)
Spock (again, WTFrak?)

I need to blog better. You know, I used to be really good at blogging. Then I developed writers block and I've quit. My friend Sarah is annoyed at me that I won't start writing again. Maybe the stupid crap that Google leads to me will make me get off my duff and get rolling again. We'll see.

Kat, this was a hoot! Annie, I'm sorry your boobs' name were taken in vain ;-)

Marni said...

Oh yeah, and I'm off to Google "tweetstalk venn diagram twitter facebook narcissism"...cuz inquiring minds (read: nosy) want to know...

Beth said...

It makes my redneck heart happy to see that we got TWO mullet searches.

And what is a pirate's favorite restaurant?


By the in the world do you look up these things? I don't even know where to start.

Nick the Geek said...

beth, google analytics is the easiest way to do that.

I still want to know why people are giving Annie K so many beads?

And finally I would like to write a very detailed theological argument for ... oh shiny.

Nick the Geek said...

Also the number one search landing on my blog .... Booty God Booty. Number nine I'm fairly impressed with "Vampires don't sparkle"

jasonS said...

Hmmmm, so maybe I can help the poor googler who googled "What is a monkey butt?" Well, it's used just like a human butt, but it's typically smaller and monkeys tend to fling the contents once they're expelled... You are welcome.

BTW, I think you should consider renaming the blog, "Jerk Pants for Cheap." That has an awesome ring to it... :)

bman said...

That was amazing. So, I looked up the keywords of all time on my blog... it's not nearly as disturbing...

Brian Russell
ice age 3 timeline (Because they're retarded.)
kjv fanatics (who must've been REALLY disappointed when they got to my post about the KJV)
what is a nugnut
"blind mosquitos" florida how to kill
being stabbed in the back sarcasm
katdish (You read that right.)
brian russell, beer hat
(and my favorite)
i need lightsaber-based solutions for my myriad problems


Now for The Underfold:
the underfold
captain planet the movie (suckers)
harry potter ending explained (also suckers)
lemonade joke (really?)
macedonia (hahaha. Can you imagine the kid looking up information on this for a report and coming across my nonsense? Sucker.)
babysitters club fan art
gosselin feminism
walking into a door

There you have it. Not nearly as off the wall as yours, but pretty awesome.

God said...

Dear FOTTSPers,

Besides all of the variations of "god's blog" "god blogspot" and "god has a blog", I had:

why is my office so boring
blogspot expectations
kids pray the darndest things
why is my sin forgiveable
polo in heaven games puzzle
a prayer to get him back
bigger better God
God is in my mind
"what do you call a grasshopper with one leg"
you are so boring at the moment
little known facts count chocula

So, to quote one of the keyword searches, people that find my blog "are so boring at the moment."



Shoot Son Dang Girl Alissa said...

Some of my faves from my blog:

If I were the Mayor
(what the crap?)

midnight showers

satan hates me

can you take cupcakes through airport security

. People need to control themselves on google.

Stacey said...

Here are two interesting keyword searches from my blog:

"i make milk superpower flair"

"the rules of etiquette of no underwear at the office"


Helen said...

I want to accept full credit for the "Hey Cavalier Polka lyrics" ....
I posted those lyrics myself!