Monday, April 13, 2009

Did your Easter celebration lack meaning? Maybe it was your holiday decorations.

I’ve been waiting till after Easter to post this, because I thought its subject might be inappropriate for the holiday.

(Then again, I ask myself, HOW does that differ from any other FOTTSP post?)

Anywho. I got an email last week from a PR firm. (Yeah I know; this means I've arrived.)

They wanted me to promote the "Profiles in History" online auction of over 200 figures from the Hollywood Wax Museum.

Because the list included a number of Biblical figures, the PR guy suggested that I promote it during Easter season.

He kindly sent me a link to high-quality photos of the figures. And let me tell you, words cannot describe the beauty and lifelikeness of them all.

(I can’t imagine why any museum would be able to part with them.)

Behold, The Last Supper, in all its waxy glory:


Just in case you’re unclear… Jesus is the blond. Here’s another angle:

So realistic that I almost expect them to start speaking.

(And maybe asking Jesus where he gets his hair done.)

The museum has immortalized many other historical figures in wax, including some presidents.

Here’s the Great Communicator, Ronald Reagan:


And JFK:

I think maybe the two of them should switch suits. And Ronnie could loan Jack some of his extra neck skin.


I'm not sure if the museum is closing, or just replacing some figures. Either way, this may be just the birthday gift for someone you love.

For only $2,000 (minimum bid), you or your loved one can display THIS amazing representation of our Lord and Savior:

(Background not included)

24 comments:

Helen said...

I love Jesus.
Thank God I drink a little, because I need one after seeing this.
O.K. Not really.

sherri said...

Reagan and I had more in common than I realized.

Beth said...

Oh dear. Hilarious.

Um...I would also point out...didn't passover consist of UNleavened bread? I'm mean, I'm woefully ignorant of Jewish tradition, but...I don't think they were eating big ol' slabs of white french bread??

katdish said...

How am I supposed to catch up on my blog reading/commenting when y'all keep posting stuff over here? Besides, you stomped all over my gumball laying chicken video with your Arian nation wax figures! I wouldn't be surprised if Jesus came to the museum and asked them, What in the name of Me is going on here?!

Candace Jean July 16 said...

I'm with Beth on the bread. Since when did they get takeout from Panera for the last supper? I'd know that whole grain honey loaf anywhere. And seriously, the second guy down from Jesus - I do believe he's eating pumpkin pie. Village Inn? They do have holiday specials.

It appears JFK is expecting a flood, yet his shirt will get wet washing the dishes. At least he has on black socks. And Ronnie is holding his arm (with all due respect) like Bob Dole. With no feet.

Helen, if I want to start drinking, do you have a suggestion? Haven't found much I like yet but I may have to start now. I just don't like my Jesus looking like Fabio.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

In the "After Supper They Drank" scene, is there a box of wine on the table?

Helen said...

Candy, I know. If they had to go with a super white Jesus, couldn't they at least have made him good looking? Not super handsome or anything....
Wine. If it was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me. And it's all I have in the house right now.
Beth, good point on the bread. Though I am sure Jesus would have liked french bread more than crackers. Especially with butter. Doesn't everyone?

Annie K said...

Ok, in the first picture of Jesus it loooks like he's balancing a bottle of oil on his head. Is that for annointing or dipping the bread in?

And the people who created this should be flogged.

Marni said...

Jesus was a blond Jew??? Learn something new everyday...

And I gotta say, this whole display...freaks. me. out. Did any of you see that gosh awful movie "House of Wax"? Yeah, this reminded me of all the wax creepiness in that movie. Not good.

You must have had your work cut out for your Steph, coming up with positive spins to promote this stuff...

Marni said...

I take 3 days off and I miss JON posting to this site. That's it. Forget family time at night and on weekends. I'm keeping the laptop on 24/7 now so as not to miss anything else cool. I may even go get an iPhone so I can keep up when it's not convenient to have the laptop with me (ie. church, potty breaks, in the shower, etc)...

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

Marni-
BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA! Didn't you get it? This WAS my promotion. ;)

I get some wacky PR emails (Greenpeace protest, anyone?), so I use them to entertain myself.

It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it.

Nick the Geek said...

I'm not sure what I could say that they didn't say for me by just making this. I love how Jesus is always this lithe white girly man. Never mind he lived in a freakin desert and was a carpenter by trade back before power tools. Yeah we'll just ignore that he walked all over a very rough terrain for years (not counting the rough sea he walked on) and the ethnic heritage. Yeah lets make God in our image. If we are black, then we'll have black Jesus, if we are white then we have white Jesus. Anyone seen Asian Jesus? I left him over there.

*Steps Down from Soap Box*
Hmmm, how did I get up there?

Wendy said...

Okay, is it just me, or does this look like the cast of Monty Python? Just sayin'...

And hey, maybe if we pool our money we could get in on that awesome auction!

katdish said...

And speaking of poop (and the gates of hell opening up and swallowing my little town), seems as though one of the Joel Osteen faithful has planted a church right here in Katy, meeting at my kids' school, no less! (Also complete with corporate sponsorship. I wonder if they'll have a giant Nike swoosh on their building where that annoying cross usually goes.) Guess what the sermon series was for Easter Sunday...Give up? Here ya go: SEX ROCKS!

I was VERY tempted to leave a snary remark on this guy's blog, but since I didn't want any negative comment linked back to my church (read: my husband told me not to), I decided against it. I would not, however, be opposed to any of my FRIENDS doing so. Here's the link, just in case: tomelmore

katdish said...

Oh crap. The link didn't work. It's TomElmore.com

CM said...

All wax figures are inherently creepy, but this! The presidents are only the normal amount of creepiness, but the Last Supper figures are above and beyond! The figures to the right of Jesus look like they're too close to a heat source and are slowly melting forward. And blond Jesus? Bad enough to have caucasion Jesus, at least make a half hearted attempt and give him some dark hair. I'm just trying to figure out who would buy a wax figure and what they were do with it...

Candace Jean July 16 said...

They aren't wax figures. They are merely candles. Can't you see the wicks?

Helen said...

Katdish, I will be happy to accomodate and leave Tom Elmore with a piece of my mind, but first I have to practice sounding sane, since the prosperity Gospel makes me as insane as it does you, except you are usually able to rant coherently. Usually I start out okay, end up ranting about my momma, and pretty soon I am sure I must be foaming at the mouth. You know how it is.

Nick the Geek said...

I'm writing a post on prospetity for tomorrow. April's topic is "fools" and Tuesday is my on topic day. Anyone see the connection? Oh, and I started writing the post early this morning when I got tired of trying to sleep in between bathroom runs. I think the bathroom runs got me to thinking about prosperity doctrine.

Dang look at that sneaky soapbox climbed right under me again.

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

Nick,

Just make sure to hose it off when you're done with it.

(the soapbox, I mean.)

katdish said...

Oooo! Goody! Maybe I'll just post a link to your blog tomorrow.

Beth said...

HAHA! KaZAM! Steph is ON today!

And I'm a wuss. Sorry, Kathy. Even though I don't agree with it, I keep fearing that if I give the prosperity people too much crap, God will put me right next to them in heaven as a kind of an eternal joke. Plus I have my own husband who would tell me not to.

Helen said...

Really? I am surprised. My husband loves for me to send nasty emails to people. The more I get all Hungarian on other people's butts, the safer he feels.
He also likes to see me vent a little venom at persistent telemarketers for the same reason.
Now if I did that to people he actually had to face, that would be a different story.
And what if God puts you next to them in Heaven because you refused to mix it up with them here, so God figures just put Beth there and keep things all peaceable.
Poor Beth. I don't mean to pick on you. ;-)
Since I am waiting to become sane and coherent, who knows when my little comment can be left? I might have to sit next to them in Heaven, because that is when I will be truly healed and sane, and can then tell Joel off.....which really wouldn't make it Heaven for him, would it?

Helen said...

"Mr. Olsteen, could you please explain again how my mom couldn't walk because she lacked faith..."
Yeah......getting all Hungarian on Joel's butt would be Heaven for me, but probably not him.....