A Gift to Remember

We have a wedding coming up in the family, which brings us to that endeared tradition of registering for gifts that most people can't afford to buy for couples they barely know. So in light of the fact that I need to re-register (can't you do that after 35 years?) and my pots and pans have seen better days (read: my family has eaten all the non-stick coating and are all going to die), I want to be gifted this pan. It doesn't matter that I'm not the one getting married. It would make the holiest of food. Children would never misbehave at the table if Jesus was embedded in their French Toast now, would they?

And whackin' somebody up the side of the head with it would seem so fruitful.